we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
