Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
