But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
