google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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