honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
