The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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