i don't like sucking hair
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
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