Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
is wine microwaveable?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
