she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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