I must be too annoying 4 u.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
