YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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