I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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