It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
