Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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