my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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