in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
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