I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
