Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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