I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize