It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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