Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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