I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
