Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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