Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
