It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Pooping to opera.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
