let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I am available for nakedness
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
