I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
