return my video game
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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