So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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