Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
