At least make sure they are 18
Why
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
