There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
