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my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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