I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
