Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
