This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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