Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Shame is for Republicans.
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