While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Randomize
