I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
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