this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
