guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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