one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
