if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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