weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
