guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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