oh god the rape fog is back!
They should really pass out barf bags in church
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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