Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
