I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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