Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
