First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
