peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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