I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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