Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
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