There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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