Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
